Thursday, November 3, 2016

Been a while...

It's taken a while to play catch up on my blog post regarding the book I reviewed a few months ago... "Boys Adrift by Dr Leonard Sax"... I have taken time to think about the author's recommendations and how to apply them in my family and can finally share my thoughts.

The first application related to our son's education.  Early in the school year we had to make a decision regarding the class he would attend as he was born shortly after the cutoff date.  Before reading the book, we were contemplating having him tested to go to first grade instead of having him in kindergarten.  After reading the book, and talking to many educators we realized that kindergarten would be best... We now realize that intellectual maturity and emotional maturity cannot be evaluated separately.  For a child to thrive in school, he /she needs both intellectual and emotional preparedness.  As the author and many others have highlighted, this observation is especially true for boys...

The second thing we learned was the relationship between brain function, video games and ADHD medication.  Dr Sax highlights findings of the effect of violent video games on the brain.  He particular highlights the impact  on the area of the brain that is responsible for motivation.  Want to check out the validity of this observation? I encourage you to perform searches on images of the brain playing violent video games.  It's a real eye-opener!!!  The author has numerous recommendations including limiting the type of games children  play and the length of time the play.  I love his approach in encouraging children to prioritize their tasks effectively, such as allowing video games to be played upon completion of more important tasks eg homework, chores etc.  We adopted his approach on monitoring content and encouraging moderation vs total elimination as sits well with us. We also took up a recommendation on playing team sports as an effective alternative to video games. 

There are additional discussions on the use of ADHD medications. I have no experience in this topic but wanted to mention it all the same. The author does caution parents to be really sure of the diagnosis prior to medicating your children due to the increased number of ADHD diagnosis and the long term effects of using ADHD medication.

We also incorporated unstructured outdoor play and the healing power of spending time in nature. Dr Sax recommends a book "the last child in the woods" by Richard Louv.  This book is a powerful testament of the value of spending time in nature.  This one is a bit tough to commit to if you live in the city... However, prioritizing a way to get in touch with nature on a regular basis, will enrich your family's life... We know it because we did it!  We started going for hikes on Saturday mornings and now look forward to out hikes all week long!

This is an amazing book full of insights that can be applied, and i have only mentioned a few... The ones we were able to act on. I highly encourage anyone parenting boys to read the book!

For more information on this book and comments from other readers, visit the books website: http://www.boysadrift.com

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Book review: Boys adrift, five factors affecting the growing epidemic of unmotivated boys and underachieving young men

As a mother of two young boys (age 5 and 2). I have been intrigued by recent conversations I have had with parents of teenagers and young men complaining about their unmotivated boys.  Some are even perplexed in observing their daughters experiencing academic achievements while their boys are not.  Some of it may be explained by natural differences that can occur in a family, and some of it is not.... as I have come to learn...I thought this was a fist world problem, until I talked to my dad in Kenya, who commented on observing a similar trend in Kenya.

I stumbled upon this book while doing some research, and I must say I am super thankful that I did.... now let me start by saying that I am not sure that all the factors discussed in this book would apply to all boys in evey part of the world, but I do think that as with anything, we can all pick up a thing or two that can inform us on things we can do to improve the odds that we raise children who are productive, motivated, independent adults...

Dr Sax mentions that the factors he has observed that contribute to the issue of unmotivated boys are:-
1.  Changes at school
2.  Video games
3.  Medication for ADHD medication
4.  Endocrine disruptors from environmental toxins (mainly chemicals found in plastic eg BPA, PVC)
5.  Failure to launch - this is end result that we are now observing...  boys who have grown up to be young adults who are unmotivated and content to remain at home without contributing significantly to the home or society ... would rather play video games all day vs get a job..

As I read the book, I will share my thoughts and application of the factors discussed ...
I really welcome input from readers in Kenya as I am curious as to whether these factors may be at play in Kenya.

Looking forward to getting on this journey.